novel translation complete!!!

[Nonsuch Ned]

Man, even correctly translated, so much of novel 17 is a mess of confused context.

Lines and lines and lines of dialogue with no attribution... a random line like "Oh.... You bastard!" with no proper indication of who's saying it. You can kinda follow it with two people but something like the stand-off with Jovia and Chito's father is practically incomprehensible.

The same thing with Seina's conversations with Nayuta.... suddenly a line in <braackets> shows up and you know it's either Seina or Nayuta, but it's not always obvious which. Then you have an observation of Seina's and then anothered bracketed line that you again have to figure out who's talking.

Then there's Kajishima's refusal to make relationships clear without putting puzzle pieces together. One certain very important character is referred to only as "That guy." Resolutions are left ambigous... threads are dropped.

So, even though it's definitely a solid translation, I'm often wondering who is talking, what they are talking about, and why it's important.

Was the mercenary daughter enjoying the cake... or being tortured with it?

Was Kicha arrested in the library?

Ernesto survived, right?

Gando... who I think is supposed to be some sort of "mafia"  type figure, escaped?

Herrera is Jovia's mother, right? (That's why she had panties with the family noble crest,right?)

What the hell is black cursed liquid or "extra potion"? Does it matter? I doubt either will be mentioned again.... if we ever even get more books.

[Eff Efferson]

It does look I'll finally be able to write a "Magic" page soon.  Chapter 3 of novel 17 is a monster: super long and packed with information... and often boring as hell. It should have been split into three, like the first three chapters of 16 were. I had to stop at the point where Seina starts figuring out how to use magic.

I hope to finish the book tonight ...and then cancel Speechify before they charge me $140 for a year of service I'd never use regularly. It's a good program, but that free trial trick is a scam. It does do some annoying things with the text though. Pronounces "Seina" as "suh-NAH" and the talking with Nayuta (nice to have a settled name!) uses <> to communicate that they are speaking internally/telepathically... but speechify says "lesser than" and "greater than" almost every time they show on a page.

android or iphone use an ap called evie its  tts book reader with good tts voices

[Dreamr]

Outstanding work, ty!

[BobSchlotkin]

This might be a bit messy, answering a lot of questions here.

>>Lines and lines and lines of dialogue with no attribution... a random line like "Oh.... You bastard!" with no proper indication of who's saying it. You can kinda follow it with two people but something like the stand-off with Jovia and Chito's father is practically incomprehensible.

>>The same thing with Seina's conversations with Nayuta.... suddenly a line in
<braackets> shows up and you know it's either Seina or Nayuta, but it's not always obvious which. Then you have an observation of Seina's and then anothered bracketed line that you again have to figure out who's talking.

I initially tried to break out which of the two (Seina or Nayuta) was speaking, but about 30% of the time I couldn't figure it out!


>>Then there's Kajishima's refusal to make relationships clear without putting puzzle pieces together. One certain very important character is referred to only as "That guy." Resolutions are left ambigous... threads are dropped.

I spent quite a bit of time fixing most of Barigaru's comments as he mostly called people "that guy" and usually called Seina "the boy" even when speaking to him.

>>So, even though it's definitely a solid translation, I'm often wondering who is talking, what they are talking about, and why it's important.

Yup, I think that's one of the reasons this was such a bitch to translate! Frankly a decent editor could probably cut about 40 pages off this thing with no loss of story!

>>Was the mercenary daughter enjoying the cake... or being tortured with it?
My thoughts exactly. The best answer I can give is Yes!

>>Was Kicha arrested in the library?
My guess is that Kicha was probably arrested, or maybe just taken to the local magistrate for an ass chewing since his dad is nobility.

>>Ernesto survived, right?
I'm pretty sure Ernesto died a horrible death!

>>Gando... who I think is supposed to be some sort of "mafia"  type figure, escaped?
Yup, Gando made it out the back way while the mages and Barigaru were dealing with Ernesto's situation.

>>Herrera is Jovia's mother, right? (That's why she had panties with the family noble crest,right?)
Hmm, hadn't considered that. I figured she just snuck in and stole a couple of pairs. She is a pervert after all.

>>What the hell is black cursed liquid or "extra potion"? Does it matter? I doubt either will be mentioned again.... if we ever even get more books.
I think the black cursed liquid is all that was left of Ernesto after Gando hit him what that fungus/virus/disease. Extra Potion seems to be something made from proshetto. A kind of super healing potion.

[Eff Efferson]

This might be a bit messy, answering a lot of questions here.

>>Lines and lines and lines of dialogue with no attribution... a random line like "Oh.... You bastard!" with no proper indication of who's saying it. You can kinda follow it with two people but something like the stand-off with Jovia and Chito's father is practically incomprehensible.

>>The same thing with Seina's conversations with Nayuta.... suddenly a line in
<braackets> shows up and you know it's either Seina or Nayuta, but it's not always obvious which. Then you have an observation of Seina's and then anothered bracketed line that you again have to figure out who's talking.

I initially tried to break out which of the two (Seina or Nayuta) was speaking, but about 30% of the time I couldn't figure it out!


>>Then there's Kajishima's refusal to make relationships clear without putting puzzle pieces together. One certain very important character is referred to only as "That guy." Resolutions are left ambigous... threads are dropped.

I spent quite a bit of time fixing most of Barigaru's comments as he mostly called people "that guy" and usually called Seina "the boy" even when speaking to him.

>>So, even though it's definitely a solid translation, I'm often wondering who is talking, what they are talking about, and why it's important.

Yup, I think that's one of the reasons this was such a bitch to translate! Frankly a decent editor could probably cut about 40 pages off this thing with no loss of story!

>>Was the mercenary daughter enjoying the cake... or being tortured with it?
My thoughts exactly. The best answer I can give is Yes!

>>Was Kicha arrested in the library?
My guess is that Kicha was probably arrested, or maybe just taken to the local magistrate for an ass chewing since his dad is nobility.

>>Ernesto survived, right?
I'm pretty sure Ernesto died a horrible death!

>>Gando... who I think is supposed to be some sort of "mafia"  type figure, escaped?
Yup, Gando made it out the back way while the mages and Barigaru were dealing with Ernesto's situation.

>>Herrera is Jovia's mother, right? (That's why she had panties with the family noble crest,right?)
Hmm, hadn't considered that. I figured she just snuck in and stole a couple of pairs. She is a pervert after all.

>>What the hell is black cursed liquid or "extra potion"? Does it matter? I doubt either will be mentioned again.... if we ever even get more books.
I think the black cursed liquid is all that was left of Ernesto after Gando hit him what that fungus/virus/disease. Extra Potion seems to be something made from proshetto. A kind of super healing potion.

thats why all the characters usually have speaking quirks like how they refer to people with honorifics or just odd c patterns. you can always tell sasami from tenchi but with new and minor characters its hard usually

you can almost always gaurutee every line in brackats is a dialog change.

teanslating jovia gives me hwadaches i cant tell whats wrong with how she speaks but it seems she speaks in double entrndre slang alot

[BobSchlotkin]

translating jovia gives me headaches i cant tell whats wrong with how she speaks but it seems she speaks in double entendre slang a lot.

Just living up to her reputation as a pervert I expect!

[WaitoKon]

 

You are amazing Fap.

[Nonsuch Ned]

Could I get a double check on something? I'm writing up a summary of 16 for the wiki.

Sansui, Jitsuki, and Rokubi... The three prince friends that are supporting their families (not the ones that actually fight- it just occurred to me that they are different). Is it possible that Rokubi isn't a Kasen? The translation says it, but it doesn't make logical sense to me. There should be one brother from each family and Rokubi's full name is translated as Rokubi "Ayeno Kasen"... the middle name makes me think it might be a hint that it should be "Renne Kihaku." It also seems odd that Rokubi is described as the "6th prince" but seems to defer to Jitsuki, the "10th prince"- but it wouldn't seem as strange to me if they were from different families. PLUS- when they're talking with Gyokuren, one unattributed line says "is it true what my sister said?" and right after it refers to Hakuren's information. Hakuren is the leader of the girls in the GA (but the lowest ranked in Renza) and should be the one giving out information.

[BobSchlotkin]

Could I get a double check on something? I'm writing up a summary of 16 for the wiki.

Sansui, Jitsuki, and Rokubi... The three prince friends that are supporting their families (not the ones that actually fight- it just occurred to me that they are different). Is it possible that Rokubi isn't a Kasen? The translation says it, but it doesn't make logical sense to me. There should be one brother from each family and Rokubi's full name is translated as Rokubi "Ayeno Kasen"... the middle name makes me think it might be a hint that it should be "Renne Kihaku." It also seems odd that Rokubi is described as the "6th prince" but seems to defer to Jitsuki, the "10th prince"- but it wouldn't seem as strange to me if they were from different families. PLUS- when they're talking with Gyokuren, one unattributed line says "is it true what my sister said?" and right after it refers to Hakuren's information. Hakuren is the leader of the girls in the GA (but the lowest ranked in Renza) and should be the one giving out information.

I agree that some of the conversations don't seem to make a lot of sense based on who is supposedly speaking.
Rokubi's name and the associated furigana can be found in GXP 16, page 117, fourth paragraph, about 1/3 of the way down the page.

Sigh, somehow I messed that one up. The furigana says Rouka Akeno Kasen

Damn, now I'm going to have to go through 15 - 17 again and verify all the names.

[Nonsuch Ned]

hmmmm... moved on to the Charon Wolf intro chapter and see that you translate the older brothers as "Next of Crown" and "Jitsuki's brothers" and I'm realizing that that they may ALL be Kasen princes. It kind of goes with Book 17 developments- that King Kasem is considering making Seina the next king... as all of his sons have humiliated themselves or abdicated.
[edit, looking more closely, yes- in the the nutty 9th chapter, you give him the title "The Next Kasen"]

Now I'm trying to make sense of the dancing masked robed man.

After looking over it a couple times... have I gotten this right?... the "Next of Crown" is intent on improving their knights... and is on his way to figure out a way to do that. THAT's that the whole "I'll see what I can do to speed things up..." and then the whole "What's  going on?" stuff.

...Is the next scene of Clay forcing the masked/robed man to do the Bon dance... meant to reveal that what happened was that the "Next of Crown" is the masked/robed man and that his "trying to speed things up" was HIM trying to break into Clay's work to figure out ways to improve the knights?

Or is he working with him and walked in on the scene? or...something else ?
"The next cavalry" is also watching it...
what?
At first I thought he was watching it being broadcast?

[BobSchlotkin]

I think you're right about the Next of Crown wanting to improve their knights.

I didn't get the impression that the masked man was the Next of Crown (NoC). He does seem to have hired Clay and is unhappy with Clay's performance. The NoC may have ordered someone to break into Clay's area and triggered the nano-machines that are forcing the Bon Dance.

Eff, what's your take on it?

[Nonsuch Ned]

The Bon Dance thing gets more confusing in the 9th chapter again when Komekitsune gets caught in it... but I don't think she's in the same place. I think she's just in a more typical Recepshi monitoring area where she can spy on the duel. And they speak of others getting caught in it too, like something else is going on too. The masked man was supposed to be ina top secret operations room of the secret society operating Himc and the other rogue knights, not some monitoring station where a half dozen people keep accidentally getting caught.

Really don't know.

In any case. I published something. It needs grammar fixes and probably content tweaks, but what was there before was no good.
https://tenchi.fandom.com/wiki/True_Tenchi_Muyo!_GXP_16

[Eff Efferson]

I think you're right about the Next of Crown wanting to improve their knights.

I didn't get the impression that the masked man was the Next of Crown (NoC). He does seem to have hired Clay and is unhappy with Clay's performance. The NoC may have ordered someone to break into Clay's area and triggered the nano-machines that are forcing the Bon Dance.

Eff, what's your take on it?

honestly ive always figured that the person behind himc is actually kirikos lost presumed dead father. hence an ark around kiriko and a tv show around kirikos mom. i think i translated the bon dance section.and it wasnt easy to do. unless bob did it himself in the latest pdf thats my sloppy work. kome kitsune and clay are nearby where the gossipy princes are not near the secret hideout of the himc gang.

dont forget guys... kirikos dad is this generstions reincarnation of professor rara.

[Nonsuch Ned]

I think you're right about the Next of Crown wanting to improve their knights.

I didn't get the impression that the masked man was the Next of Crown (NoC). He does seem to have hired Clay and is unhappy with Clay's performance. The NoC may have ordered someone to break into Clay's area and triggered the nano-machines that are forcing the Bon Dance.

Eff, what's your take on it?

honestly ive always figured that the person behind himc is actually kirikos lost presumed dead father. hence an ark around kiriko and a tv show around kirikos mom. i think i translated the bon dance section.and it wasnt easy to do. unless bob did it himself in the latest pdf thats my sloppy work. kome kitsune and clay are nearby where the gossipy princes are not near the secret hideout of the himc gang.

dont forget guys... kirikos dad is this generstions reincarnation of professor rara.

You've pretty much convinced me that the "leader" is the Rara reincarnation. That makes sense. But the masked/robed guy that I think is possibly the Kasen prince is not this leader. Clay says that he thinks the leader is intelligent, but he thinks this particular underling is an idiot that defines the rest of the organization. So,the masked/robed guy is an idiot and the prince is a monumental idiot. I made that connection.

I guess the line that is translated as

"The same incident as what the Next of Crown saw was also happening at the docks of the Maiden Knights"

is key. The ones right before it too.

What is going on here?

The prince is transfered to "his base" (but which base?) and he sees "what was happening in front of him"

I guess the fact that he "says nothing" points to him not being the masked man... because that man certainly talks... SO I guess the two are just working together? and he he is transported to witness this... why?

I really don't blame you guys- I can tell that whatEVER is going on is is thanks to Kajishima trying to write these events "mysteriously" and something is probably missed in translation.

[BobSchlotkin]

I think you're right about the Next of Crown wanting to improve their knights.

I didn't get the impression that the masked man was the Next of Crown (NoC). He does seem to have hired Clay and is unhappy with Clay's performance. The NoC may have ordered someone to break into Clay's area and triggered the nano-machines that are forcing the Bon Dance.

Eff, what's your take on it?

honestly ive always figured that the person behind himc is actually kirikos lost presumed dead father. hence an ark around kiriko and a tv show around kirikos mom. i think i translated the bon dance section.and it wasnt easy to do. unless bob did it himself in the latest pdf thats my sloppy work. kome kitsune and clay are nearby where the gossipy princes are not near the secret hideout of the himc gang.

dont forget guys... kirikos dad is this generstions reincarnation of professor rara.

I spent a couple of hours looking at the sections that was referring and got pretty much what you got. When he's trying to be mysterious, Kajishima is a PITA to translate!

I'm planning to re-do the first 16 as I'm curious about some of the sections you touched on while skipping. I expect it'll take a bit to get to though. I've been doing a re-read of Paradise War and find more errors every time I look at it. I'll re-do those three first.

Kiriko's dad. Good grief, that sounds exactly like something Kajishima would do. The narrative map he uses to keep track of his story arcs has got to be insane!